Sometimes in life, we are blessed with opportunity to be part of something so special, so monumental, that it makes us sit back and take stock of all that we value and love. I have recently had such an opportunity with Jenni and Baby Olivia.
Jenni and I go way back and she is one of my favorite people on the planet. We’ve shared so many laughs that we could probably provide an endless assortment of laugh tracks for Sit Coms the world over! In the timeless words of Anne of Green Gables, Jenni is ” my bosom friend”.
After many years of searching for Mr. Right, Jenni found him one New Year’s Eve in the form of the brother of her friend Holli. His name was Taylor and, well, he was a keeper. They were married on August 11, 2007 in a beautiful ceremony overlooking Okanagan Lake. Here’s a few pics.
Aren’t they cute! They complement each other so well that I’m amazed it took so long for them to meet – it’s almost as though the stars were just taking their sweet old time to line up just so – and they make each other laugh all the time. I believe that laughter, above everything else is the key to a happy, healthy marriage. It calms frayed nerves, soothes bruised egos, erases feelings of angst and opens our hearts when they are clamping shut. I think I speak for everyone when I say how happy we all are that Jenni found someone who is so good to and for her. She had to wade through a hip deep field of frogs before she found her prince, but she did find him and that’s all that counts.
As if Jenni and Taylor didn’t already have enough happiness and love in their lives, they were recently blessed with a beautiful baby girl to fill up their love tanks to overflowing. Little Miss Olivia is just so adorable that, were she a stick of gum, she’d be known as Juicy Cute!
As I’ve mentioned a few times before this, my husband and I have been hoping to conceive for the last four years and we have been unsuccessful. During that time, I have gone through quite a roller coaster of emotions, including a particularly bad span of approximately a year where I was so bitter that other women could have babies that I couldn’t even be around pregnant woman at all. Seeing their joy and their growing bellies always brought a huge wave of jealousy crashing over me and I found myself wishing terrible things about them, things that a sane person would never wish on anyone. It was especially hard to see my pregnant friends and Jenni, being one of my closest friends, was the hardest one of all. Although on some level I knew I was happy for her, I was also insanely jealous and sad – although I tried not to let her see that side of me. Of course, she’s my friend and she knows me, so she most likely picked up on it right away. Lucky for me, Jenni lives an hour and a half away, so I didn’t have to see her much during her entire pregnancy.
That entire year and a half of feeling bitter and jealous was really tough, but by the time Jenni told me that she was pregnant, I’d already been seeing an acupuncturist for five months (for fertility issues) and I didn’t have as big of a meltdown as I normally would have. I even spent a day with her when she was around four months along and I felt, if not ecstatic, somewhat happy for her and Taylor.
Lucky me, I have the most amazing acupuncturist – Jen Larsen – and she has such an infectious good energy that I couldn’t help but pick up on it. The more I saw her, the better I began to feel until one day about four months ago, I woke up and realized that the constant ache in my chest wasn’t there anymore. Instead, it had been replaced with a feeling of anticipation, as though something big were about to happen. All that bitterness and pain that I’d been clinging to for so long had just disappeared. WOW. Let me say that again, WOW! During that entire week, I found myself calling friends who had recently had babies or who were pregnant (including Jenni) and I was continually amazed at the change I felt within myself. For the first time in a very long time, I could look at babies and hold them without feeling as though walls were crashing down around me.
But that wasn’t the clincher. None of those things made half as much of an impact as seeing Baby Olivia for the first time in person. When Jenni sent a few pictures of her, I felt almost giddy inside – I had a bubble of laughter just waiting to pop to the surface, but not quite ready to show itself – but when I saw her in person for the first time, I felt as though I’d been hit by lightning. It was as though the tiny bit of icy crust that was still lingering around my heart had been blown away by a feeling of warm and sizzling lightning love and, suddenly, every last piece of that anger, bitterness, jealousy and all the other emotions I’d been trying to dispel, just dissipated into the universe. Not only was I ecstatic that I was so happy for Jenni, I was overwhelmed with happiness for myself because I was healed.
After a year and a half of “soul searching”, I was finally able to let go and accept that the universe does what it does for a reason. If I can be around a good friend’s baby and feel nothing but happiness, something monumental has taken place – especially because it was always more difficult being around my friends’ babies than seeing strangers with babies. I am just thrilled for Jenni and Taylor – my heart fills to bursting when I see Jenni with lil’ Livy and feel the underlying current of constant love between them. Mostly, though, I’m thrilled for myself and amazed at how far I’ve come emotionally and spiritually in the last year and a half.
Thanks Jenn, for always being such a good friend and for giving me space while you were pregnant so I could figure things out. I love you more than I can say. And thanks, Juicy Cute (maybe I’ll be calling her JC for short from now on – Auntie Jo’s own, personal nickname for her new “niece”) for healing my heart with your sweet, chubby cheeks and your soft, pink skin. I can’t wait to watch you grow up. 🙂
This is a pic of Olivia and Jenni’s nieces.
It’s time to change the baby. “Auntie, can I help you?”
“Uhhh, on second thought, I think you can do it.” LOL
It was hard to choose a few pics for this blog because I liked all of them. Here’s one of my favorites, not of Olivia, but of her cousin. She was just hanging out, watching the world go by.
Once again, thanks Jenni and Olivia for filling up my heart with good stuff again and for letting me be snap happy and follow you around all day! xoxo Joji
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