I’m a beach kind of gal and my idea of a perfect vacation is, and always has been, something involving warmth, peace and quiet, a good book, and the soft, pleasing sound of water lapping at the sand. Greg is usually the opposite – he loves the beach, but he enjoys going on excursions, exploring new places and seeing the sights. So, when our friends decided against our usual tropical-type vacation and opted for Vegas instead, I thought it would be a perfect birthday present for Greg and I happily booked our trip too. I knew it wouldn’t be my ideal vacation, but the trip was about Greg, not me, so I sucked it up and prepared myself for a weekend of “what happens in Vegas…”
Well, at least I thought I prepared myself. The truth is, I was completely unprepared for the constant bombardment of people, noise, pollution and, worst of all, total lack of anything environmentally friendly. I’m not sure if they’ve even heard of a little thing called Recycling in that town. Every time I saw a person throw a bottle (plastic or otherwise) into a trash can, I cringed. Every time I saw people throw paper into a trash can, I cringed. Every time I saw anything that could be recycled thrown into a trash can, you guessed it, I cringed. I did a lot of cringing!!! By the second day, I was sure that Vegas was not a place I ever wished to return to and, from the poll I took of our travel party, the feeling was mutual. It wasn’t a terrible place, but it wasn’t my kind of place at all.
However, all was not lost and there were many parts of the trip that were amusing or entertaining, especially Shannon! Shannon is a good friend of ours who can always be counted on to provide entertainment and many good laughs. Did you know that your drinks are free in Vegas as long as you are gambling? Sweet Deal. I had a bit of a love affair with Bud Light Lime and Miller Chill while we were there. One particular day, after playing BJ at the Stratosphere for a couple of hours, Shannon had a bit of a love affair with double Vodka and Cranberry and provided us with hours of non-stop entertainment afterward. Here she is with one of those yummy doubles. Doesn’t she look happy! Sorry about the crappy picture quality.
While we were in Vegas, there were people lining the strip who were handing out cards for all sorts of things – free passes to get into bars like Hooters and Coyote Ugly, calling cards for Hookers, free drink coupons, etc. When we left the Stratosphere, a dude handed Shannon a big stack of cards for free admission to the Hawaiian Tropic and asked her to “pass them around to other people”. I’m fairly sure he meant “other tourists”, but Shannon had an agenda of her own and instead decided to hand them out to the locals, both those standing on the street handing out cards of their own and people working in shops along the strip. She would say things like, “Hi, I’m Shannon from Canada. Would you like to see some beautiful ladies in bikinis? Great, here’s a ticket for free admission to Hawaiian Tropic.” She’d hand them a card and then we’d all laugh hysterically at their bewildered expressions. A good one was the young guy working the counter in a tatoo parlor who, after receiving Shannon’s card, picked it up, looked at her with the most hilarious you’ve gotta be kiddin’ me look and asked, “Uh, are you serious?” I almost peed my pants. The best, by far, was when the dude who gave her the cards in the first place passed us again and started to hand us more of the same cards and Shannon, instead, handed him his cards back and said something like, “Hey, you wanna see a really good show?” Greg almost peed his pants that time.
We spent a lot of time riding the bus, but there are strict rules about drinking on the buses, so Shannon strategically placed herself in front of the camera and covered it up each time Greg wanted to drink his beer. What a good friend she is.
My sides hurt after a few hours of Shannon’s entertainment. She introduced herself to everyone she met in the same way. “Hi, I’m Shannon from Canada. We’re staying at the MGM, where are you staying?” Then she’d say something like, “Oooooh, that’s a nice hotel, we walked through there.” Or, “Ooooh, we hear that’s a nice hotel, we’ll have to walk through there and have a look.” She was also fond of saying, “Hey, did you know they serve you free booze if you gamble? That’s awwwwesome.”
Jay’s a fairly funny guy as well and, at one point, he made us laugh out loud when he ran after one of the billboard trucks that was cruising up and down the strip.
Of course, we weren’t to be outdone, so we had to run after him.
Look at Shannon’s face in this picture. She was feeling tres sexaliscious at that moment. LOL.
None of that stuff was half as funny as the escalator incident. For all of you who have seen the movie Elf, picture the part where Will Ferrell is trying to get on the escalator at the mall and he goes up in almost a full splitz. Well, we were on our way into the Bellagio to have dinner and Greg, Jay and I were ahead of Shannon on the escalator. At one point, I turned back to say something to her and she was in a full splitz, hanging on to the arms of the escalator with a completely deadpan look on her face, glancing from side to side (JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIE). OMG, I’m totally crying from laughing right now just thinking about it. I burst out laughing and, when Greg saw it, he burst out laughing too and soon all three of us were laughing hysterically while Jay (who didn’t get the joke) was not laughing at all and neither were the 20 people dressed in suits and dresses behind us on the escalator (which, of course, made it 50x more funny). By the time we made it to the top of the escalator, I was gasping for air and tears were running down my cheeks. That was absolutely hilarious. Shannon is one of the funniest people I have ever known. I should have taken a picture, but I was laughing much too hard to even think about it.
Tune in tomorrow to see more of our crazy Vegas adventures and to read all about other funny incidents, including Jay and Shannon’s story about getting lost in the “ghetto” and the drunk girls on the bus coming back from Fremont Street. At least the trip kept us laughing!