Do you ever watch a TV show and, after a character has spouted off some particularly profound prose that leaves you teary eyed or feeling righteous and motivated, think Hmph! If only real life afforded moments when words just flow like poetry from our mouths and leave people basking in the aftermath of our wisdom.
Although I have a good grasp of language when I’m sitting in front of my computer and blogging or just writing in general, my verbal skills are, in my opinion, decidedly lacking. Don’t get me wrong, you could ask me to write a speech or stand up in front of hundreds of people and wax poetic or make people laugh about any topic and I’d rock it (as long as I’ve had some time to prepare), but catch me on days when I’m running at full steam and being pulled in many different directions and I tend to say things, such as, “OMG, and I was like, ‘no freakin’ way’ and he was like, ‘dude, that s#%t is off the hook.”
It shames me to admit that my mouth just spits out nearly unintelligible teenage-level slang while my mind is in the background thinking things, such as, “Oh my goodness, and I said to him, ‘You don’t say?” and then he quipped excitedly, “That is absolutely amazing’.” Sometimes this drives me a little batty because I know I am so much more intelligent than I sound, but other times, I’m too busy to worry about it and I think, Whatev, man, that’s how I roll. (Really, though, where did I learn to speak this way????).
In honor of the ever raging war between my internal and external dialogues, I’d like to start off this installment of Gratitude and Attitude with a big diss to slang.
Today’s Attitude goes out to:
- Slang…WTF man? Slang’s the sickest dude ever. Always getting all up in my face and f$%king up my s#&t and dissing my brain and, like, making me wig out all the time. Slang doesn’t deserve the props it gets and it should really just suck it and it really gives me a huge case of the redass. Slang may think it’s on the A-list, but it’s really a Monet and, on the ABS it gets about a 10 out of 10…now, anybody who actually has a clue what I just said deserves an A++ in slang recognition.
- Negativity (this includes negative people and just negative vibes in general). Lately, I’ve been trying a little experiment. Whenever I start picking up a negative vibe from someone, I immediately do one of two things – change the subject or just keep quiet and refuse to acknowledge the negativity in hopes that they will forget about it too. It doesn’t seem to be working – people either continue on with the same negative topic or they seem to switch to another, equally negative topic and start going off about it. This leads me to believe that we humans enjoy creating drama and suffering for ourselves because it feeds right into our egos and it makes me realize that I have my work cut out for me. YAH? WELL BRING IT ON NEGATIVITY. I CAN TAKE YOUR WORST AND TURN IT INTO SUNSHINE AND LOLLIPOPS. BOOYAH!
Now for my favorite section.
Today’s Gratitude goes out to:
- Miss Janna Fehr. An absolute doll who always makes me laugh and melted my heart when she said in her wee voice today, “Jo Jo, can’t you just stay and visit for just five minutes.” Her and her big sister, Alysha, are just adorable and can always make me smile and laugh. I love kids.
- Little Nicholas for pointing to a huge mound of mud beside some bear tracks yesterday and telling me that it was the bear’s crap. Kids say the darndest things, don’t they!!
- Pictage.com because it has already made my life SO much easier and given all of my clients so many more choices besides prints and digital files. Now they can choose from prints, digi files, canvas gallery wraps (my absolute FAVORITE type of print), a huge assortment of photobooks and greeting cards, guest sign in books, dvd slideshows and a whole swhackload of other great stuff. Now, if they can just open up a Pictage office in Canada, my life will be perfect!
- Erin Bowker. Thanks for stopping to have breakfast with me while you were passing through town today. I miss you tons and love it when I get to see you. Too bad it took hitting a deer to make you get here, but everything happens for a reason!
- Juno The Wonderdog. For farting in the living room this evening while he was sleeping and jumping up to look at his own butt as if to say, “What the heck was that?” before running out the dog door to bark at his own bodily noises. I laughed until I cried.
Tomorrow’s going to better than today and, the way I look at it, every day is only as fantabulous as we make it. So, on that note, goodnight my friends. I wish you enough.