I must say, I don’t care who you are or how much your body rocks. The sad fact of the matter is that skinny jeans are, well, just wrong…IMHO!!
I remember being overly infatuated with skinny jeans (and maybe Peter Pan boots and Converse sneakers) back in the 80’s when I was working my way through elementary and junior high. They had pretty stripes running down them and I had them in all sorts of strange colors, like purple and fuchsia and green. And guess what? They looked abysmally bad on me. I was a figure skater and I had fantastic legs and a fairly good behind, but squeeze those legs into a pair of skinny jeans and suddenly my legs resembled misshapen sausages stuffed into an unforgiving, unyielding casing. Not only that, but my once perky arse flattened out and actually took on pancake proportions. What was I thinking?
I don’t care how hot you are or how thin or whatever else, skinny jeans are not flattering to anyone, especially men! Seriously people, it’s bad enough that women think they can rock them, what is with the men (including my hot youngest brother, bless his misguided fashion heart)???? And why do so many of them, if they must wear them, insist on letting the crotch of them hang down halfway to their knees? Who is the brainiac who decided that was sexy? What the…???
Come on guys, seriously. They’re skin tight. Not only does this cause your feet to look abnormally gargantuan – dare I say, clownlike – but it also ruins any chance you’ll have of fathering children in the future. Hmmm….maybe that’s why so many guys let them sag??? Let me ask you this, which pair of jeans makes this man look sexy? Same guy, different jeans…hmmmm, I wonder???
I know, I know. Who am I to diss the skinny jean revolution? Well, as someone who already lived through it once and realized the colossal error of her ways, I can only hope that others can learn from my mistakes and remember that there are so many, sexier and prettier jean alternatives out there. All you have to do is let go of your affinity to fit in with the current fashion trends and ask a few people around how your skinny jeans really make you look!!!
And, just because I really want to buy this and wear it…
Goodnight my friends. I wish you enough…moxy to get rid of your skinny jeans!