I’ve never been one to undertake resolutions of any kind just because a year has passed. Instead, if I notice areas of my life that are decidedly lacking, I tend to run at them head on at the exact moment I become aware of them. I’m a big fan of asking the universe for exactly what I want or need and then having faith that it’ll happen eventually. Instead of resolutions, I add areas that need tending to my vision board – a plain white board in my office with pictures and words pinned to every inch of it, detailing and outlining my goals and universal requests for the near and distant future. Yesterday I took a good, long look at my vision board for the first time in about eight months and I was stunned to see how much the universe has made available to me.
For example, early last year, I posted a photo on my board of a married couple running along the sand of a tropical beach. Underneath that photo, I wrote, “Shoot Destination Weddings this year”. Well, that particular universal shout out was fulfilled last August in the Mayan Riviera. Yay Universe! In the same corner of my vision board is a picture of a Nikon D700 camera – a camera that is newish to Nikon and is good as both a professional camera and a fun camera. I posted it on the board in the hopes that I would be able to afford one (at a whopping $3500) before the wedding season started last year. Woo hoo. Check another “I wish” item off of my list! I’ve also managed to accumulate a few more tangible items off the board, but the biggest surprise for me didn’t come from the material objects I’ve acquired based on my board wishes. The most amazing gains for me in the past year are all about a healthy body and mind.
Half of my vision board (which I made in early January last year) is dedicated to my health, both physical and mental. There is a section for attitude (all aimed at the positive), a section for sexuality, a section for health and a section for spirituality. The past year has been one of complete transformation for me – a steady progression out of negative thought patterns and into positive feelings and periods of non-thinking. It’s not easy to learn how to recognize your thoughts and make an effort to always be conscious of them, but it is worth every effort. Gone are my days of being riddled with anxiety and worry about the future, gone are my days of letting one negative thought spiral out of control and start affecting all areas of my life. Instead, I “feel” those negative thoughts almost immediately and recognize them for what they are and, wouldn’t you know, just that little act of recognition stops them in their pissy little tracks and puts me right back on track.
The vision board is not made of magic and there isn’t some mystifying secret to it. The purpose of it is to get your universal requests and desires out in the open so you can concentrate on living your life, day by day, and let all those desires take care of themselves. Which brings me to my biggest “wow” moment of 2009 and now 2010.
Way back when I made the vision board in early January of 2009, I surrounded a section labelled “Family” with all of the other sections pertaining to my physical and mental well-being. There are two photos of pregnant women in that section, along with a photo of a family playing on a beach and two photos of little babies. At the time I made the board, Greg and I had been trying to get pregnant for four years and I thought that adding it to the board would get it out of my head and allow me to get on with life. About two weeks after I made the board, Greg and I decided that, after trying for years and looking into adoption (which seemed like a nightmare), we didn’t need to have kids to be happy. We decided that we would move on and love our current niece and nephew and any others that came along as though they were our own. It felt like a huge relief to stop trying and to just move on with our lives. It was healing for both of us and life became so much easier after we made our decision.
In October 2009, I contracted the H1N1 flu and was more sick than I’d ever been in my life. After six days of enduring excruciating pain and a crazy fever and cough, my body fought it off and I was able to get up and get going. I missed my period that month, but automatically thought that the Flu had thrown off my cycle because it had been such an intense illness and never gave it another thought. I never even considered that I could be pregnant because anyone who has gone through hell trying to get pregnant and has then given up on the whole idea won’t even allow her subconscious to toy with the idea (the inevitable negative results are just too painful to face). Well, imagine our surprise when we found out that I was pregnant and not just messed up because of the Flu. It’s taken us awhile to come down from the shock of it all, but both Greg and I are starting to come around to the idea that we are going to be parents this year. When I looked at the Family section on my vision board yesterday, I was stunned. I had completely forgot about it, but there it was, staring back at me and practically dancing a jig!
We are going to be parents! Yes, I’m only nine weeks pregnant and problems can arise and things can still go wrong, but we’re taking it day by day and staying positive and calm. Most people say that you shouldn’t tell people until after 12 weeks in case of miscarriage, but I’m not most people. I’ve had enough of grieving the loss of a baby in private. I would much rather let our friends and family know what’s going on with us so we can reach out for their support should something happen, than tell no one and have to grieve in private and put on a brave public face. Miscarriage is the exact same thing as losing a loved one, so couples should not have to hide their grief or pretend that nothing is wrong. And, should the worst case happen, there’s this little invention called email that makes it really easy to let everybody know what’s going on so the grieving parents don’t have to keep repeating themselves. I love modern technology!
So, in honor of our fantastic/scary/exhiliarating news, it’s time for another installment of Gratitude and Attitude.
Today’s Attitude goes out to:
- All of those people out there who think I give a crap about their opinions about the right time to share unbelievable joyous news with others. Mind your own business.
- The guy across the street who continues to keep his dog tied up 24/7 in his back yard, never walking it or cleaning up the poop in the yard. Apparently, the SPCA doesn’t really care if dogs are being mistreated as long as they have food and water. I hope Karma comes around and kicks this guy’s teeth in someday and that his doggy goes to a loving, deserving home.
- morning sickness that lasts all day and can only be temporarily appeased by ginger tea or cheerios and milk. blah.
Today’s Gratitude goes out to:
- Well, duh…the universe, for listening to my requests, even the ones I forget about making, and for always amazing me with how much can be accomplished with a positive attitude and faith.
- Gregory John LeFlufy, my amazing husband. Firstly, for his little swimmers, but mostly for being so supportive and patient and caring since we found out the big news.
- Facebook for reconnecting me with an old friend whom I’ve missed very much in the last five years. Jackie has always been one of the funniest people I know and I missed her wit and laugh.
- My acupuncturist….yet again…for paving the way for my healthy body and mind and playing a huge part in this whole pregnancy thing. Jen, you rock.
- Cheerios and milk. Who knew you could ever taste so good?
And how could I not be grateful for this little guy. Our current pride and joy.
That’s all my friends. I hope you all have your own version of G&A and that you remember to show gratitude whenever you feel it. I wish you all enough…