It’s been awhile since I’ve woken up in the middle of the night and actually seen any of my dead and gones, so I was surprised to see my mama again last night when I woke up at 3:17 a.m. I’m not sure why souls choose the middle of the night to wake me up, but it seems to be a favorite time.
This morning when I woke up, I did so because I felt as though someone was sitting on my side of the bed and I thought Greg had woken up for some reason and was trying to get my attention. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was Greg sleeping peacefully beside me with Juno snuggled into him. My next thought was that one of our cats was pinning me in and hogging the bed. However, when I turned over, there was mom, sitting patiently at my side and smiling down at me. I blinked a few times and rubbed my eyes, but she didn’t disappear and I realized she was here for a quick visit. I told her that it was good to see her (especially because she looked so young and fresh compared to how she looked when she passed) and I grabbed her hand to squeeze it. It felt as real as my own. Mom didn’t open her mouth, but I clearly heard her say, “Just relax, Jo,” and then, blink, she was gone.
I laid awake for another hour, hoping for a reappearance and processing her message. Just relax. Was I feeling uptight? Actually, yes. Earlier in the day, I’d fallen asleep on the couch and had a horrible nightmare about losing the baby. I’d stressed about the dream for the rest of the day and had fallen asleep worried about dreaming again – my dreams have all been nightmarish in the last few weeks. Stress is what killed the last baby and, although I recognize that, it isn’t always easy to just remember to breathe and take it day by day- without a little friendly reminder, that is!
Who knows if it was all in my imagination or if it was as real as it seemed. I make a point of not analysing these experiences too closely because I like to think that she (and my other occasional visitors) watch over me and keep me on track. Regardless, I woke up this morning feeling 100 times better and stress free.
Thanks again, mama!