Years ago, I read a book by Sylvia Browne that was a bit of a catalyst of sorts. To The Other Side And Back taught me all about how to access our loved ones who have passed away. It was full of meditations and visualizations designed to prepare the mind to receive messages from loved ones on the other side and, even though I was fairly skeptical about it when I read it, the seeds were still planted in my brain and I couldn’t stop them from growing.
I’ve blogged about souls and ghosts and spirits (or whatever you want to call them) a few times and I know that many of my readers think I’m out to lunch and am living in a day dream world. I know this because you have written me and said as much! As much as I realize that all walks of people believe all sorts of different things about where we go when we die, I really don’t care what other people believe or don’t believe. What I care about is my own experiences and what I take away from them.
A week or two ago, Greg and I were talking about baby names and I asked him if he would be all right with naming our daughter Wendy (after my mom) if we were having a girl. He liked it, so we made our decision. I liked the idea too because it felt as though we were honoring a fantastic lady who we miss every day.
Last night, although utterly exhausted, I was having a difficult time falling asleep and decided to try my favorite visualization to lull myself into dreamland.
I usually imagine myself walking through a field full of waist high grass, overlooking a vast ocean. I walk through the grass until I see the edge of a cliff and, when I get to the edge of the cliff, there are a set of steps built into it that lead all the way down to the beach below where there is a huge set of ornate doors with two huge black handles. I follow the steps down, open the doors and enter a long, marble hallway with high, glassless windows on each side and soft white curtains blowing in the ocean breeze. At the end of the hallway is a huge, roaring fireplace with two leather recliners in front of it. I walk down the hallway and sit in one of the chairs. At this point, I can choose to stare at the fire and let it lull me to sleep or I can pull my gaze away from the fire and look at the chair beside me to see who’s come to visit me.
This visualization didn’t work for me for the first ten times I tried it a few years ago, but somehow, and unexpectedly, one day I tried it and my Grandpa Alex (who had been dead since a month after I graduated high school) was sitting in the chair beside me. He didn’t say much, but I felt him as the calm, smiling presence he had always been around me. After that it was easy. I’ve seen my Grandma Eloise (on my dad’s side), my Grandma Ada (on my mom’s side), my spirit guide (a lady named Katarina), a childhood friend who drowned and, most importantly, my mom, among others. Sometimes they speak, sometimes they don’t, but I always feel at peace again when I see them.
Last night, after going through most of the visualization, I decided that I wasn’t in the mood to see anyone or speak with any of my dearly departed, so I settled into my recliner, watched the fire and listened to the sound of the waves outside the windows until I drifted off to sleep.
I slept like the dead until 3:07 p.m. when I awoke suddenly because I heard someone call my name. I looked at Greg, but he was asleep and I looked at the phone, thinking I may have heard it ring, but it hadn’t. I got up and went to the bathroom, went back to bed, got comfortable and closed my eyes. Immediately, I was sitting in my recliner by the fire, feeling the breeze through the window and sinking into a deep state of relaxation, but this time, I knew there was someone sitting in the chair beside me. I glanced over to see my mom. She was wearing a pair of white shorts with strappy sandles and a pretty pink T shirt. Her hair was immaculatly set, her makeup done, her nails were a pretty red color and her toenails were also painted the same color (typical mom) and she had a glass of white wine in her hand. It must have been cold because I could see the condensation around the brim of the glass where it was sweating.
I said hi and she turned to me and said, clear as a bell, “I’m flattered, but Wendy is not the name for your child.” I asked her why not and she just smiled at me, took a sip of her wine and said, “Trust me. You know what the name is, you just have to trust your instincts.” Then she stood up, drained her wine (LOL), put the glass down and walked away down the hall and out the doors.
I slept for awhile and found myself back in my recliner in front of the fire, feeling another presence beside me. I looked and there was a stranger sitting there. She had dark, old fashioned curly hair (the kind that women used to set themselves with curlers way back in the 20’s or 30’s), and piercing blue eyes. She was wearing a brown skirt suit, with a white, ruffled top and she was smoking like a chimney. When I said hello, she threw her head back and laughed and she said, “You should listen to your mother. She knows what she’s talking about.” Then she vanished and left me sitting in my chair all alone in front of the fire.
Then I woke up and my first thought was, What the hell was that all about? And I’m still thinking, What the hell am I supposed to take away from this? I’m also wondering who the stranger was and why she laughed so hard?
Don’t get me wrong, I love these Mid Night Specials (as I’ve started to call them), but they often leave me with more questions than answers and sometimes they can be a tad more than slightly frustrating. I also tend not to take things on blind faith and need at least a partial explanation as to the nature of a happening. With this one, nada. WTH?
Here’s to hoping that the rest of the day provides more answers than the early morning did!
Have a good day my friends. I wish you all enough…