Some Jo-isms I’ve Learned While On Bedrest

Bedrest can be a bitch to handle, but then again, so can I! Just ask my husband.

In the last eight weeks while I’ve been on bedrest, I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I’m both capable and incapable of. I’ve started to call these little bits of enlightenment, “Joisms”. Here are some of my new Joisms. I’m going to put these in the third person because I once worked with a guy who referred to himself in the third person all of the time and it made everything he said really annoying…I mean funny.

  1. Inactivity, especially in the form of lack of exercise and no photography, can make Jo a little testy. (Said with my head thrown back in a huge guffaw…little…UNDERSTATEMENT)
  2. Bedrest makes Jo lose brain cells. I’m serious. The less I do, the less I want to do and sometimes I find myself laying in the recliner just staring at the wall and drooling. Of course, the drool could be easily explained by the excess saliva caused by pregnancy hormones, but if I’m perfectly honest, I don’t believe that is the cause of it.
  3. Bedrest does not make Jo’s ass any tighter or more attractive. ‘Nuff said.
  4. Bedrest makes Jo much more aware of her surroundings. As in…beside Jo’s chair (or bed or couch) is a pair of binoculars which Jo uses at least three times per day to spy on her neighbors. Someone has to make sure they aren’t serial killers and, well, since I have some time on my hands…
  5. Being waited on hand and foot by her husband is not all Jo expected it would be. I have dreamed about this for years. Relished the idea of how lovely it would be to have a man tend to all of my needs so I could just sit back, relax and enjoy some me time. In reality, it’s downright annoying to have to rely so heavily on someone else. He’s doing an absolutely bang up job, but I find myself feeling resentful that’s he’s being so darn good to me. Which leads me to my next ism…
  6. Bedrest causes people to live in a perpetual state of “opposite day”. You know, “it’s opposite day” – when you say one thing, but you really mean the polar opposite. For example. I say, “Ugh! Can you stop getting on my case about getting up too much or sitting up in front of the computer too long.” What I really mean is, “Jeez honey. Thanks for being such a stickler for the rules and reminding me to take it easy. I sure am blessed to have such a caring, considerate husband to take care of me and the baby.” Or I say, “Thanks honey. I really appreciate all that you are doing for us right now.” And what I’m really thinking is, “Get off my case, Nurse Nazi.” What can I say, opposite day is a fine line to walk, but I seem to be doing it instinctively.  Actually, in my case it’s a fine metaphorical line to walk seeing as how I’m not doing much walking lately…
  7. Bedrest makes Jo believe she is actually funnier than she really is. Just read 1-6 above.

Aside from the above Joisms, I have also started having vivid dreams about conducting photo shoots. At least twice each night I venture out into the world of “dream shoots” where I shoot huge weddings with a point and shoot camera or find myself shooting an event completely naked with a camera phone. Must be all of those brain cells I’ve lost lately.

I did sneak a few moments today to whip through some pics from the last few months to find one that I felt was worthy of a blog post. I even thought of getting up for a few minutes to pick up my camera and shoot at least one thing that caught my eye. However, I was put off by the layer of dust that has accumulated on my cameras in the last month because it reminded me that I’m on bedrest for a darn good reason. *HUGE SIGH*.

Here’s a pic of JuJu with his furry friend, Darty (as in poison dart frog), hanging out on the floor of the baby’s room.

I hope everyone I know is enjoying the beautiful sunshine and hot weather more than I am! I wish you all enough…

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