Yesterday, I was feeling particularly blah, so I stayed away from my computer for most of the day. However, I did log on to write a very short blog and to change my profile pic on Facebook to a picture of Cora, after she’d passed away. Apparently, I have my profile pic settings set to “friends of friends” because I received some random message from someone I don’t really know, saying that posting a photo of a dead baby was morbid and disturbing.
I won’t mention this lady’s name because I am bigger than that, but I do want to address her comments.
Firstly, lady, you can suck it. If I want to post pictures of my dead baby or of my husband’s genitalia as my profile pic, it’s none of your business. I have three words for you: Get a life.
Secondly, I am trying to stop people from trying to hush up the stark reality that babies do, indeed, die. Yes, I know it is a tragic, unfair and disturbing topic to bring up in conversation, but for the parents of those babies, talking about it and acknowledging that they lived (even if only for a brief few moments) through pictures and mementos is therapeutic. I think many people don’t know what to say when a friend’s baby dies and so, after the initial condolences are given, those people believe that not mentioning the baby is probably the best course of action. Let me tell you, I have spoken with dozens of parents who have lost their babies and ignoring the loss after a few weeks is not the best course of action.
Friends may be able to return to normal life and forget the tragedy ever happened, but the parents and the family are still reminded of it every moment.
If your child died, I hardly think your pain would just disappear after a week or two.
So, lady (who has three beautiful, healthy, LIVING children), this is just for you: Our baby was with us for 30 hours and in that time (even before she was born, actually), we bonded with her and loved her enough to fill up a lifetime. She was here and, despite all of the crap she went through trying to survive, we thought she was the most beautiful person we’d ever seen – even after we ended her short life.
If you can’t handle looking tragedy in the face, stop creeping other people’s pictures on Facebook and forcing me to rant on my blog.
Okay, rant over. You may all now return to your regular, scheduled programming.