I have a killer head cold right now. I’m fairly sure that any nook or cranny left in my head cavity is full of phlegm and my ears are completely plugged. While I don’t feel absolutely awful, I do feel off kilter and run down, so I’m chillaxin’ on the couch today, getting caught up on a little project my brother, Mike, and I are working on. I thought I’d take a few minutes to blog it up with a little G&A. It’s been awhile.
Today’s Attitude goes out to:
- The health care system in our province. It’s been nearly 14 weeks and STILL no autopsy results. Losing a child is the most difficult thing you can imagine, but not knowing WHY she got so sick and died ranks a close second on the difficulty scale. It weighs on my mind constantly and causes both Greg and I to second guess all of our decisions and actions leading up to Cora’s death. I need some peace of mind. I need concrete proof that nothing I did led to my daughter’s death. Even though logic tells me that we did everything correctly, that little niggly voice inside my head whispers otherwise and keeps me awake most nights. No wonder I’m so sick right now. Stress wears down the body.
- Drama. If I wanted it in my life, I would become an actress or buy some tickets to Jerry Springer. Shoo drama, shoo I say.
- Takers. People who take, take, take and the thought never crosses their minds to give back. I hope a bird craps on each of your heads.
Today’s Gratitude goes out to:
- My Gregory. He not only cleaned all of the carpets, but dusted the entire house because we thought I might be developing allergies. It turns out it’s just a nasty cold, but what a fantastic guy for thinking of my comforts and trying to solve the problem “guy style”. I love him so much.
- Our derby league (especially the ladies who have been pushing so hard to get everything organized and running smoothly). You ladies (more than 20 of you now!!!) continually amaze me with your enthusiasm, drive, and, most of all, friendly attitudes. It makes my heart all warm and fuzzy when someone new walks in while we’re practicing and three or four ladies automatically head over to introduce themselves and make everyone new feel totally welcome! And I’m super fly cool with everyone’s willingness to be outspoken and make her voice heard. Good communication lines are key to a healthy sporting environment. Kudos to you ladies. You’re my peeps!
- Cora Jane. I thought I was a good person before you came along, but truly, you are making me a better person every day. I am so grateful for the little time we had together and I am amazed at how much strength I keep finding in myself every time I think I’m done and can’t possibly make it through another day without you. I am also chagrined by all of the less than desirable qualities I continue to discover within myself and I am glad that I am able to recognize them more than I ever would have before. My hope is that someday I will have a chance to be a mom again and that, by then, I will truly understand why I had to go through this long and painful journey. By then, I hope I will laugh in adversity’s face and spit in the eye of hardship while your dad and I tell your siblings all about their big sister and how much she taught us about life and love. You are awesometastical and we love you and miss you so much.
- Juno. Well, for those of you who know him, I don’t have to say anything more than his golden, sunshiny name!
Have a good Monday, my friends.
I wish you all enough…