Grievers Anonymous. Maybe I Should Start My Own Club

My name is Jo and it has been two weeks since my last crying fit.

That was the thought I had this morning when I woke up and it made me chuckle a little bit.

Like alcohol and drugs, grief can become almost addictive if you are not aware of it’s effects on you. Maybe I should start my own club. Grievers Anonymous?

It’s true, though. It has been two weeks since I’ve had what I like to call a “pooptastic day” where thoughts of Cora overwhelm all others and all I can do is cry myself a river. In the scheme of things, you may think that two weeks without crying over the loss of our daughter is a good thing, but I find myself wondering if that is true. After all, crying is very therapeutic and even though I really get sick of it sometimes, I always feel lighter and less burdened afterward.

I also feel ridiculously guilty that I can’t muster up any tears right now. Some part of me thinks that just the thought of our beautiful baby girl should make me tear up because her loss is so colossal, but I just don’t have the energy left to cry right now. Instead, I’m sick with a persistent head cold that won’t seem to let go of it’s strangle hold on my sinuses. I’ve realized that grief manifests itself in oh-so-many ways – it causes so much stress, which wears down the body and invites germs to settle in for the long haul. Like I’ve said before, though, I’m tough and I will not allow this ever-present, grief-induced stress to push me down.

So, I’ve been plugging along through a hazey head full of phlegm and dulled senses and reactions. It’s a blessing, really. My body seems to instinctively know when it needs a break from grief and, even though I’m sick, I feel almost happy. I am enjoying this feeling and I’m going to ride it until the tears find me again.

I am working on pics today, but I just wanted to take a few moments to post some pics that I took while we were fishing about a month ago up at Pass Lake.

 

kamloops photographer jo leflufy
good boating safety role model – standing up with no life jacket

 

 

kamloops photographer jo leflufy
Juno loves fishing

 

kamloops photographer jo leflufy

 

kamloops photographer jo leflufy
smooches for my little ray of sunshine

 

 

kamloops photographer jo leflufy
“Fish on.”

 

 

kamloops photographer jo leflufy
Kissin’ the fishes

 

 

kamloops photographer jo leflufy
Sitting on Greg’s lap…no, our dog is not spoiled at all

 

 

kamloops photographer jo leflufy
His smile says it all

 

 

kamloops photographer jo leflufy
5lbs 1 oz

 

It’s Monday. Enjoy it if you can. I wish you all enough…

6 thoughts on “Grievers Anonymous. Maybe I Should Start My Own Club

  1. I think you are absolutely right about crying and grieving bringing on all sorts of things. and yes 2 weeks is a “nice” thing. one step at a time… You will have those days when you think of Cora and all you can do is cry and other days like the last few you can just think. after 3 years I am still doing that. I don’t think that will ever stop hun.

    You are doing all the right things and I hope that nasty head cold goes away very soon. And today I wish you a smile… Somedays that just has to be enough.

  2. I think it’s wonderful that you feel lighter and less burdoned after a good cry. I have denied my emotions their due for 2 1/2 years since I lost my son, mostly because my heart is dying, literally, and giving in advances my condition. I am waiting for a transplant. I realize that I need to get back up and deal with the grief and pain and so I AM going to start a club. If you’d like to join me, feel free to contact me. There are so many people who need help and where there is a need there is a way.

  3. I found this site because I wanted to see if there was a Grievers Anonymous – & if there wasn’t, to start one up. It was so good to read what you’ve shared here. Homeopathic. I’ve just lost my beautiful beloved boy (cat) & am beside myself with grief. Hearing from friends who lost their feline girl a few months ago, hearing the pain of other’s similar experiences makes me feel less alone & more able to cope – as does seeing some healing in time. I’m in UK but would welcome any collaboration to get a group started. I think it is high time that this earth, that is so wracked with grief has a space in which to heal, & I feel that GrA could certainly hit that spot. What a beautiful dog. So sorry for your loss.

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