I’m just working on a blog post about our trip down the Oregon and California coasts and I decided to post a separate post about Cora and how she traveled with us.
I know that so many people out there don’t believe that our loved ones stay close to us and I, too, gave up on that notion shortly after Cora died, but since that first sign in the doctor’s office, they have been coming to us both in spades.
Three days into our trip, I had a small meltdown. I saw a couple with a baby walking along a beach and I freaked out and started ranting about how unfair life was and how sick I was of having the weight of grief weighing me down. I went on and on about how our trip was supposed to be our first as a family – all three of us and Juno, driving across a couple of States, enjoying each other. I felt empty and pissed off that she wasn’t with us and I cried as Greg held my hand and nodded agreement. I said, “I just wish she was still here with us.” and we kept driving.
Twenty minutes later, we were cruising through Crescent City and Greg suddenly said, “No WAY!”. We had just driven past this sign.
He looked at me and asked, “What are the chances?” Hmmmm…
Not ten minutes later, Jason Mraz’s I’m Yours came on the radio. I hadn’t heard it since a few weeks ago in the doctor’s office when I’d asked Cora to send me a sign that she was with me and that everything would be okay. I mentioned before that I’m Yours is the only song that made her dance in my belly and we played a ton of different ones for her.
We just listened to the song and smiled. Really, what are the chances???
We heard that song three more times on our trip, all on different radio stations and always when I started to feel the sadness and grief start to overcome me.
Believe what you will. I believe she’s still here with me whenever I need her most and I will continue to hold on to that belief for the rest of my life. It doesn’t make losing her any easier, but it sure is comforting during my darkest moments.