Ask me what I have to be grateful for this year and the list could, literally, run about twelve pages. I don’t have time to post all of it in one little bloggy, so I’m going to start with the few that are on my list and dole out the rest as the month goes by. I seriously lost my ability to write excellent, moving, sometimes humorous blogs for the past six months, but I am happy to say that the past few weeks have restored not only my sense of humour, but also the 8000 words per day that roam around in my brain, waiting to be put up on the big screen monitor. Booyah, world! Booyah!
However, before I can shower the world with my fathomless gratitude, I have to clean out the bitchy closet so I can start filling it with things to bitch about again!
Here we go!
Today, Attitude goes out to:
- People all over the place who think Christmas is about gifts. For the weeks before Christmas, they flood the stores with their more, more, more attitudes, they act like assholes to anyone who gets in the way of their intended purchase or their madly rushing feet, and they blow by the Salvation Army coin boxes as though they don’t see them and didn’t just spend hundreds of dollars on useless shit that no one in their family really needs. I HATE this aspect of Christmas. I think gift giving should be completely removed from the holiday (except maybe stocking stuffers because, well, that shit is fun) and we should all take lessons on how to hang out with your friends and family, play games, talk to each other instead of playing on phones (yes, consider me guilty on that one…my bad), and, I dunno, maybe use the opportunity to appreciate what you have and who you have in your life instead of thinking, “Oooooh, what did I get?”.
Today’s Gratitude goes out to:
- Me! Yay me! For constantly making the effort to look inward and observe my thoughts and actions and then take steps to improve areas that I believe need improvement. This is not an easy thing to do. It takes time, commitment, integrity, ownership and acceptance. It’s hard to admit to anyone, even myself, when I am acting like an asshole or in the wrong. It also takes a constant willingness to work on changing the aspects of myself that I know bother others – even if they don’t particularly bother me. I am proud of myself and grateful that I keep the lines of awareness open and continue to learn and grow. My acupuncturist asked me if I plan to come back again after this life or if I’ve learned all of the lessons I need to learn. I told her that I’d be coming back many times until I get it dialed in. However, the more I think about it, the more I realize that the simple act of inward observation and willingness to change is a huge lesson that I am learning – it leads to a more peaceful attitude, a propensity toward and capacity for greater kindness and a sense of understanding that I suspect I did not have in my previous life. So perhaps I won’t be recycled after this trip after all. 🙂
- The ladies of the SS Rodeo for inviting me to play on December 9th in Penticton. That bout was SO much fun and it really reminded me why I love playing derby in the first place. I also supermanned into the crowd and ended up in Purple Kush’s brother’s crotch, which is still making me giggle. Good times!
- A break from derby for a few weeks. Ha! Usually, if we take any sort of break from derby, I am dying to get back at it after only a few days, but I’ve had nearly three weeks off and it has been really nice to not have to plan practices or coach or practice for awhile. I even took a break from my usual rigorous fitness regimen and have only been doing yoga, stretching and cross country skiing to give my body a much-needed rest. Now I feel renewed and invigorated and I’m ready to get back at it! Who knew?
- Spinach smoothies. I was a spinach smoothie fan for years until I got pregnant with Cora and, suddenly, couldn’t stand them or smell them or look at them. I tried one again a few weeks ago, just to see if I could choke it down and, to my complete surprise, the texture of it didn’t make me gag anymore! I’m SO grateful for this because I always run on the anemic side and spinach makes a huge difference in my energy level and my disposition. Now I feel like I can run circles around everybody again, including my post-Cora self! Woot!
- Laughter. For nearly 18 months since Cora died, I hadn’t been able to find a genuine laugh inside myself. All of my laughter felt forced and empty, as though I was just going through the motions to show myself I could still do it. I realized approximately a month ago that these days I have been laughing because I find things genuinely funny. Once again, I’ve been experiencing the kind of laughter that bubbles up from my tummy and explodes out of my mouth, making my eyes water and leaving me slightly breathless. Real laughter. I honestly thought I would never be able to truly laugh again and, let me tell ya, it really is the best medicine. I feel lighter than I have in a year and a half – still not who I used to be, but definitely lighter! And, I have to add that Cristina and Krystin have been contributing to my genuine laughter fits lately. You two are hilarious…
- Women like Kathy Grant from KG Creative Consulting and Sabrina Sinclair from Fit By Design who have a natural knack for empowering others and getting them stoked about life – especially other women. I absolutely love it when people make others feel good about themselves. It makes the world a better place, one person at a time.
- Zack & Jodi Gray. Super amazing husband and wife photography team who are, seriously, such good mentors and so inspirational. They’ve given me renewed drive to revamp and step up my biz this year. I was so excited to get going that I broke my promise of not working for ten straight days and I’ve been strategically planning out everything I will do to change my biz practices, improve my client relationships, add to my photography knowledge, tweak my shooting style and still keep giving back to my community whenever and however I can. 2012 is going to be, hands down, my best year yet…and that’s saying a lot because 2011 was pretty darn good!
- My Greggors! He makes up songs all the time and sings when he wakes up in the morning, when he’s making breakfast, showering, etc. The lyrics are ridiculous and there is no rhyme or reason to what he sings, but it makes me smile on a daily basis. When he’s been gone for awhile and I’m grumpy or concentrating too hard on work or whatever, he can come home and sing for ten seconds and I find myself smiling or giggling. He’s pretty good medicine too!
- And, here’s a mishmash of things I’m grateful for that need no explanation: Juno, snuggles with my furry family and hubs on Sunday mornings, healthful food, ethically raised animals, sunshine on my face, fuzzy pjs, true friends, kids (I really love kids), cross country skiing, music, yoga, coffee, energy, funny people, socks, and catnip!
Happy New Year everyone. I hope that 2012 brings you all enough…
Here’s a pic of my nephew and Juno sleeping in the backseat on the way home from Christmas Eve dinner!