And Then She Called Me A Stupid Bitch

It’s been a strange, strange, strange kind of day. Actually, it’s been a strange and very long week already and it’s only Thursday. I didn’t sleep last night, yet again – I had been on a roll of sleeping at least eight hours per night, but it seems to have gone by the wayside in the last few days – so I woke up feeling off.  Yes, off. No other word describes the grey haze that has slipped into my mind today and fogged up my thinking and reactions. Off.

This morning I decided to take Juno for a swim in the river. The water is higher than it’s been in a very long time and I couldn’t take him to our usual places, so I decided to take him to some of the trails we like to run on because I knew they’d be covered in water, but not near the rush of the current. When we arrived at the place I had in mind, there was a homeless dude sleeping on a bench right near the path we had to get to, so I called Juno and we walked by quietly, trying not to disturb his nap in the sunshine. We walked by him and down the path and I flung the ball and Juno happily bounced into the water, splashing and swimming. As soon as Juno started splashing, the homeless guy bolted up, pointed at me and screamed, “Fuck you, Kathy Flannigan.” Then he gathered up all of his items and his shopping cart, gave me a super dirty look and stormed off, mumbling. I stood there, with my head cocked sideways, staring after him with my mouth half open and a half smile on my face. Uhm, okay then. Have a nice day. Sorry to bother you.

Shortly after that, I had to go for another B12 shot because the first one I had wasn’t enough for my system to register. As I was walking out of the building where my naturopath works, another homeless guy was sitting on the steps with a sign that read, “Travelling. Hungry. Please help.” I reached into my purse and pulled out a Vega energy bar (those things are delicious and expensive), a banana (yes, I keep fresh fruit in my purse because I’m crazy) and $20. I handed him all of it and wished him well in his travels with a big ole smile on my face and then went on my merry way. I hadn’t made it five steps when something hit the back of my head and fell to the ground. The guy threw the banana at my head. Yes, he THREW THE BANANA AT MY HEAD. I turned around to look at him and he said, “I don’t eat that shit.” Again, WTF???

As I picked up the banana and put it back in my purse (you know, in case another homeless person did, in fact, eat that shit), I thought about what a strange day it had been so far and I went home to get some work done and hide from the world. Clearly, it wasn’t my day to be out in public. Of course, I should have known it wasn’t over yet as the magical number is always three, no matter what is going on.

At around 4 p.m., I remembered that I had to pick up a cheque from a client before she headed out to work, so I jumped in the car and took off down our street to the stop sign at the end. There was a dude there from a paving company and he was doing work on the sidewalk, but he had parked his giant truck half on my street and half on the cross street, so it was blocking the view of the street I needed to turn on to. I inched my way out past the bumper of his truck and noticed that there was a car coming, so I stopped. The car that was coming had it’s blinker on to turn left into the driveway across from me and I was turning right and still far ahead of the other car, so I started to pull out to turn. At the last second, the car (with a grandmotherly looking lady driving it) sped up and turned onto my street, completely cutting me off. I just braked and waited for her to get around me, but she didn’t just keep going, she slowed right down first, made a loser sign with her thumb and forefinger and, clear as day, called me a stupid bitch. Really? No, REALLY? 

At that point, the hilarity of all of the day full of crazy happenings clicked and I threw my head back and belly laughed. What would be the point of getting annoyed at her absurd reaction or being offended by the homeless guy’s lack of gratitude or being yelled at by a guy who obviously saw me as someone else?

If I look hard enough, there are funny moments in everything – even the most tragic of situations. I can still laugh out loud at how unprepared I was for childbirth, even though all the events surrounding our daughter’s birth and death are by no means comical. If I can laugh about that, then I figure I can find the humour in most situations and that is exactly what I have been doing lately. So far, this week has seen a lot of crazy things going on and through all of it I have managed to keep smiling, stay positive, look for the good stuff and let the stuff that annoyed me just melt away. The best part is that I didn’t even have to put that much effort into looking for the positive aspects in all the turmoil and crap that’s gone on this week. It comes more and more naturally to me all the time and all it takes is being aware of myself and choosing to react to things in a positive light instead of letting trivial crap get under my skin.

Anyone can choose to be positive. Anyone can see the bright side of life. The trick is to make a conscious choice to do it and to make a conscious effort to put a good spin on everything that life throws at us. It definitely doesn’t always work and sometimes it can be downright impossible, but the more effort I make, the happier I am and the less effort I have to make. It’s a fantastic cycle to get into!

Have a great night, my friends. I wish you all enough awareness to put a positive spin on any situation that would normally get you down or make you angry. There is an upside to everything.


One thought on “And Then She Called Me A Stupid Bitch

  1. I can’t believe the bum threw the banana at you! Horrible, yet marginally hilarious! Since when can beggars be choosers?

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