Conversations with Mom: aka My Near Death Adventure Part 4. Negativity and adversity are necessary for learning lessons and making us less whiny…

My house teams bouted against two other Okanagan teams last night and it was amazing. Before the game, I did a visualization to protect my energy from anything negative and to only allow love and light into my bubble and to only let love and light out of my bubble. I imagined every person on my team surrounded by a giant white bubble of awesome energy and within that bubble, I added my power color – pink- to everyone, so they would all have the strength and oomph they needed to keep going, no matter what.

The game was AMAZING. The final score was 152 to 149 for my team and the entire game was close, hard fought, and seriously happy. Both teams were smiling throughout the game and the energy was so crazy good. I loved every moment of it and felt totally energized throughout. I jammed the whole game and there weren’t any moments where I felt too tired to keep going. It just felt like magic.

It wasn’t until afterward, when Greg and I were driving home and I had time to think on it in the quiet, that I realized that I’d kept that bubble of good energy surrounding all of my teammates for the entire game. Two things amazed me about that. The first was that I was able to hold it around people for so long and the second was how much energy return I got from holding it. This energy and connection stuff is amazing if we learn how to harness it.

I will be doing this to my team from now on, just to see what happens. šŸ™‚

All this good energy stuff, though, reminded me that I wanted to blog about negative energy and continue with the conversations I had with my dearly departed mama while I was near death.

For years, I have been an advocate of saying that “happiness is a choice”, but because of my opportunity to hang out with my mom, I now realize that even though it is a choice, it is still totally alright to let negative emotions run through me. It’s okay to be upset or sad or angry or to feel any other emotion that can be perceived as negative. Contrary to what many people believe (including me up until a month ago) allowing negativity to flow through us doesn’t attract more negativity and it doesn’t make us sick or break down our soul’s protective cushion. It’s our reactions to this kind of emotion that causes the problems, both physical and mental. When we spend our time letting negativity fester or allowing ourselves to get stuck on feeling guilty about being negative or trying to suppress our negative emotions and force ourselves to feel positive, that is when we break down the cushion and make ourselves susceptible to sickness and death. If we do what Bhuddists do and just allow ourselves to feel what we are feeling without rebelling against it or fight the feelings, it all just passes through us and leaves behind positive emotions-motivation, determination, peace, happiness, etc.. Getting stuck on any emotion for too long is detrimental to us, even excessive happiness (as my friend Jen calls it).

So I used to believe that allowing myself to feel negativity was scary and bad for me and that, somehow, I would attract more scary and bad things into my life if I kept holding onto negative emotions. I thought I had to always choose happiness and just forget about my negative feelings to stay happy and healthy. This actually allowed negative feelings to stick around and wear me down. I now know that I have to feel everything that I feel fully to stay balanced and keep my connection to source energy strong, but there is a huge difference between feeling and reacting. This has everything to do with the fact that I have contracted to learn lessons in this life and I can’t learn compassion, sympathy, or any of the other “growth” emotions if I don’t allow negativity to teach me about them. I still feel negative emotions, although not as intensely as I used to (since all this happened), and I no longer force myself to “get over” them or move past them as soon as they surface. I just acknowledge to myself that I’m feeling them and try to pinpoint why they have cropped up and trust that, once I understand them, they will pass quickly as long as I don’t react to or buy into them.

It’s kind of like being downwind of a grizzly bear – you can see it there and you know it can do a lot of damage to you if you make yourself known to it, but as long as you stay quiet and just observe it from a distance, chances are it will eventually move away and you will have an entirely new appreciation for your ability to stay calm in the face of danger or adversity.

So, the take away from this part of my conversations with mom was that all emotions can benefit us if we don’t put too much energy or stock into our reaction to them. Emotions are just different frequencies of energy and we are all energy, connected to each other. Let the emotions come and pay attention to them without allowing yourself to react too strongly. Happiness isn’t the choice, how we react to our own emotions is.

It’s sad that it took me almost biting it to understand this concept, but I am grateful for this new outlook every day and I’m loving the calmer, more contemplative and less reactive me.

Have the best Sunday ever, my friends.

One love.

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